Maybe this will be the last quite night for my family, for me, for my loved ones, for the Mosulis. Maybe tonight is a decisive night for everything. Maybe everything comes after tonight will be beautiful and good, or maybe not. We will get rid of ISIL without a doubt. Yet, a lot is left that will need tremendous work that will take long years ahead to finish. I hate this quietness so much; it reminds me of the quietness that took place before ISIL’s storming into Mosul. It was a dusty day, a strange dust storm before it that dusted everything. People were running at every direction after a curfew was imposed on Mosul. It was on a Thursday. Everyone just rushed to their homes after the news of ISIL invading Samarraa.
That night was a defining night for everything. It was a “before and after” moment. I can never forget this night. I cannot forget the fear on everyone’s face around me. I thought that a little child cannot comprehend his/her surroundings and do not know what fear is, and that his/her reaction to them is because of their unawareness. However, on that night, I saw fear was like a voracious beast in the eyes of children, and with every bullet that fires, this beast was growing bigger and bigger to devour me!
I can easily describe how fear looks, as a monster, with eyes look like big stones with sharp, tapered tips, as if they were to fall from a cliff over my head. I felt I was at the bottom of that valley and those eyes of this monster, that look like stones rushing off of the cliff trying to get me. They were very clear to me. Something was pushing them to fall over me. At those critical moments I was counting the moments from where they fall until they reach me, thinking of everything that I can do before those stones crush me and my family under them! I was thinking how can I safe my family? who should I save first? and I faced a scary dilemma at that moment, should I save the children? should I save the elderly? My parents? or the pregnant one? What if I was not able to save anyone and the stones crush me under them? What kind of dilemma is this? If only those stones could buy me some time? but I was so sure they don’t listen, nor they see, and no matter how much I scream, nothing will get in their way to stop them, or to delay them at least!
Those were the fear’s eyes only! The rest of the monster’s parts were like a trap where I was trapped and no room for me to escape, with arms extended towards me like hungry hyenas looking for their prey! Yet, what was bringing me a bit of relief is they were discussing how to eat me and who eats me first!
I used to walk down the streets with fear accompanying me with every step, just appears right before me with every single detail of it. I absurdly tried to run away as I’m walking down the streets of Mosul, then I realize I’m running of something invisible, and its all in my head. I tried to tell my friend that there are monsters waiting to eat me alive, but I hold myself from voicing those fears. I kept them to myself and didn’t want anyone to know about them.
I have tried to tame this monster. Staring at him in the eye was very exhausting until I successfully tamed him. He became more calm, at least he stopped attacking me!
What I am waiting for today is not like anything I just described. What I feel now is as if I am standing in the middle of a dark, endless tunnel, alone. But I hear something moving! Something I am unable to feel its features, and I know that escaping it is just utter insane because all routes in this maze of tunnels always lead back to this “thing”!
People are sleep now, and maybe see in their last quite dreams that ISIL fighters are on the streets like dogs … No!, dogs are lovely creatures and it is unfair comparison to the dogs; Dogs are beautiful too!
As you are celebrating Halloween tonight, I wish you all a happy Halloween. Please don’t forget the Mosulis in your thoughts. You all deserve to be happy, for a one is happy will make everyone happy like him/her.
There is nothing like a moment of peace and quietness. Despite the moments of fear and insecurity, there are profound moments that no one can take them away, and those what are left for us to live with.
Don’t forget about Mosul
The Founder of Mosul Eye