I know what Life is every time I talk to my mother. For instance, I know she is happy when I look into her eyes, even if she stays silent, I see her eyes rediant and filled with joy. Same way I know when she is sad, even if she smiles.
I called my mother today to check on her, and every time I talk to her she tells me she is fine, even though I know that it is not true. She knows that I am far now and safe, but still, she keeps on telling me to look out for myself and to be safe.
Today, and for the first time, my mother said a word that made me believe that she has lost the last string of patience, and lost all her power to carry on .. that is when she said “I wish I could die”!
For my mother to say this it means, without a doubt, that any possibility to hold on is exhausted, and the situation has reached limits beyond her ability to bare. For her to say this means that no God in heaven nor on earth, no sacred book, divine or pagan, can give my mother any consolation. And for the first time, I tell my mother that she is a believer, and keep her faith in God and she replues: “I wish I died before all of this”!